Inspired by
bat crap crazy today I have been thinking about friends. Girl Friends specifically and how I would not have made it this far without the friends I have. Now there are people who come into your life for a reason and then you grow apart or go your separate ways. There are friends who cycle in and out of your life. Sending love, and some laughs your way from time to time. Then there are the kind of friends who (as they say) know everything about you and love you anyway.
I have a really great group of friends. They support me through the depressed times, they offer me a hand when I fall down, a glass of wine when I need it, a shoulder to cry on, some perspective, even helped me get all the basics covered when we got the surprise call from child services. Each of them brings a certain strength to our friendship, ALL of them have a FABULOUS sense of humor, and I am constantly amazed by how strong and supportive they are.
Today though I am missing one friend more than I can say. She up and moved halfway across the country about 2 months ago. She is one of those 1 in a million friends. She and I connect on a different level. She knows all my faults, and all the stupid things I have done in my life (ok well most of the stupid things). In spite of all the craziness in her own life she always has time for me.We both talk too much, and have a warped sense of humor. We dye our hair funny colors, pierce things, and get tattoos as therapy (sometimes together). She is an amazing artist, and has the same type of life philosophies that I do. We can talk about our less than perfect mental health. I can cry (literally) to her, and she will just listens when I need her to and offers suggestions where she can. We both have partners in life that have metal illnesses, allowing to talk to each other without worrying about being judged. I got spoiled by having her in my life and only a 20 minute drive away. About 3x a month we would catch up with each other. It often took hours, and several drinks, to fill each other in on our lives. We once even had a slumber party with my daughter involving movies, dinner, ice cream, and A LOT of talking. We had pedicure dates, pizza night, and trips to the mall. I even made she and her husband chick pea soup one night. We leaned on each other a lot, I guess even more than I realized because the last few months I am feeling lost without her, and I have needed her. With all that is happening with Chuck's daughter coming and my depression worsening, I have missed my friend. And I know she has missed me as well. She is trying to adjust to a new community, far away from her family. Her husband has been struggling with all the changes and has been sick again because of it. We keep in touch as best we can via Facebook, text, email, and phone calls, but it is not the same. It is hard to have a drink with a friend who is 12 hours away! I miss being able to say, "I need to get out, whacha up to?" and meeting her an hour later. I miss curling up on her couch for long talks, and going for walks with her and her dog. I miss giving her a hug, or her giving me one. Most of all I miss having someone who I never have to hide anything about myself.I am not sure if she knows, but her support has been influentially in keeping me grounded and stable, and I am definantly seeing a difference in myself without her here. Being able to be completely relaxed and at home, without feeling judgement. She just gets it, no matter what it is, and I love her for it.
No comments:
Post a Comment