Introducing the Elephant

That is unless you are at one of my family gatherings, and then it is reversed. One in four of us is "normal" and the rest are insane! Actually, according to Mental Health America 54 million Americans suffer from some type of mental illness every year. That means millions of American families are affected by these mental disorders. How do we cope? How do you help a loved one who is having problems? THAT is the elephant in the room. It has been an elephant in my room since I was about 19. Often the elephant was dressed up, covered up, disguised as something else, and occasionally talked about but it was always there. So I am starting this blog. Part therapy session, part advice column, part comic relief, and hopefully something I will get some input from readers to help us all talk about the elephant. 

Let me start with what my elephant looks like. I have been diagnosed, and treated for clinical depression, anxiety, and self mutilation (ie cutting) and I threw in some standard "girl" stuff like an abusive ex and some body image issues, just to round it out. Writing it down is scary, putting it out there is scary, but over all I don't think I am all that "abnormal". However, what I have learned is that the people in my life who love me, can get pretty freaked out by all of this, especially if they don't understand all of it. And I am often concerned about the messages I am sending to my daughter. Will she hate her body because mommy hated to try on clothes or worried about looking fat all the time? Will she be able to be happy if she sees mommy on a constant mood roller coaster? I read books on child development, and raising strong girls all the time, but how much is nature and how much is nurture? At 6 there is already concern about her anxiety level. What does a middle class 6 year old who is healthy and has a somewhat charmed life have to be anxious about? Heredity, that's what! When you mix two parents with their own issues what does that mean for the child? My father is fond of joking that with my genetic cocktail I had no chance. While it makes people laugh I do wonder how true that is. And further more, how does the not always stable mood or actions of a parent affect a child? And what if BOTH parents are that way? 

I think that all too often families don't talk about these things. All too often mental illness, even mild cases IS the elephant in the room. So this is my attempt to call attention to it, find some support, help others, and explore family and relationship development when metal illness is present.

Here is the link to Mental Health America and their article about mental illness and families:

http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/go/information/get-info/mi-and-the-family/recognizing-warning-signs-and-how-to-cope