Wednesday, September 14, 2011

I am Well Thank You, But I will Not Recover

Yesterday I was reading Madam Bipolars Blog its just chronic, and it made me start to think about all of the talk in the mental health world about wellness and recovery. The wellness part I get. There have been times in my battles with depression and PTSD that I was defiantly NOT well, but recovery? So I did what anyone would do when they wonder about a subject, I googled it! NAMI says there is GOOD NEWS, recovery is possible. Ok but define it for me. Wikipedia has a definition of A Recovery Model. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recovery_model

The Recovery Model as it applies to mental health is an approach to mental disorder or substance dependence (and/or from being labeled in those terms) that emphasizes and supports each individual's potential for recovery. Recovery is seen within the model as a personal journey, that may involve developing hope, a secure base and sense of self, supportive relationships, empowerment, social inclusion, coping skills, and meaning. Originating from the 12-Step Program of Alcoholics Anonymous and the Civil Rights Movement, the use of the concept in mental health emerged as deinstitutionalization resulted in more individuals living in the community. It gained impetus due to a perceived failure by services or wider society to adequately support social inclusion, and by studies demonstrating that many can recover. The Recovery Model has now been explicitly adopted as the guiding principle of the mental health systems of a number of countries and states. In many cases practical steps are being taken to base services on the recovery model, although there are a variety of obstacles and concerns raised. A number of standardized measures have been developed to assess aspects of recovery, although there is some variation between professionalized models and those originating in the Psychiatric survivors movement.

Ahhhhh...ok. Doesn't recovery imply a a cure? So it makes me wonder, what IS recovery for someone who has clinical depression, bipolar disorder, a personality disorder, or an anxiety disorder? I surely do not consider myself recovered, though I do feel I am well currently. That being said, are we continuing to promote stigmas and misconceptions by choosing the word recovery? Wikipedia continues to say:

Concerns
Some concerns have been raised about recovery models, including that recovery is an old concept, that a focus on recovery adds to the burden of already stretched providers, that recovery must involve cure, that recovery happens to very few people, that recovery represents an irresponsible fad, that recovery happens only after and as a result of active treatment, that recovery-oriented care can only be implemented through the addition of new resources, that recovery-oriented care is neither reimbursable nor evidence based, that recovery-oriented care devalues the role of professional intervention, and that recovery-oriented care increases providers' exposure to risk and liability

I personally have dealt with my share of misconceptions about depression. I have heard all the "suck it ups" "it's just life" "get over it" that I care to hear for my lifetime, and I know people think it is more a personality trait, like pessimism than an actual illness. So is the idea of recovery, similar to the idea of homosexual recover? If you believe in nurture or nature, the plain truth is there is not one easy answer that will "cure" everyone. Also, promoting the idea that mental illness is not a lifetime battle seems wrong to me. My depression and anxiety are disorders I will continue to treat everyday, through therapy, medication, and  support everyday for the rest of my life. I have had people say "counseling is not something you do forever" but I wonder if that is true. For me my weekly check-in with my counselor helps keep me on track, teaches me new techniques to deal with my disorders, and helps to give me a gauge on what is "normal" thought and what is "distorted" thought. It also gives me an earlier indicate of when I start to backslide. An outside TRAINED eye is much more apt to see you more clearly than you see yourself when the darkness starts to creep in, or your hands begin to shake. That is not something I can get out of 10 sessions. I will have to continue on my medications. Forever, just like people with physical disorders. From time to time those medications will need to be adjusted and changed, as my body and hormones change with age. BUT if I do these things I can stay well. Wellness IS achievable. There is no reason with the mental health community shouldn't focusing more on wellness, and personalized treatments instead of just doling out meds or putting people in inpatient facilities. Wellness is measurable to a degree. It is something that to me as a consumer sounds hopeful, do able. Recovery does not seem that way to me. It sounds overwhelming, unachievable for someone who has been places very dark and very low, and who knows they will never qualify as "normal", nor will I ever function the way other people do. Madam Bipolar wrote:
The thing about chronic illnesses is they change the way people live, possibly forever.
My disease, bipolar disorder, has changed the way I have lived in many ways. Here are some of them:

  • I have kissed my highly-flying public relations job goodbye. It was too stressful and my moods and behaviour are not stable enough to be thrown into a corporate environment. This is the thing that saddens me the most. I miss working.
  • I have left the inner-city for a seaside town. This was partly for Miss Charisma's benefit but also because we needed the support of family and friends.
  • I don't drink much alcohol anymore.
  • I take loads of drugs every day and I cannot miss a dose. Lithium, Lamictal, Cymbalta and Abilify - the fab four of my nervous system. Without these drugs, I cannot function well.
  • I don't deal with stress as well as other people. An example of this happened recently when a Mum from the school knocked on my door in a psychotic state, asking me to drive her somewhere. After the whole thing died down, I had to sleep for three hours. I just can't tolerate things like I used to.
As much as I wish it were not true, people with mental disorders just DO NOT deal with stress, change, or high emotion the way other people do. We do not function the same, but make no mistake we DO function! So please accept us, support us, and help us stay well.

1 comment:

  1. This last part of your quote from Maddam Bipolar sounds like some advice my mentally ill sig other could take a good lead from. Letting go of the way you "wish things could be" is so needed to move forward in a life where you know you must alter the way you need to do things...for your sake.

    To make my days happen...to get through..I absolutely can't do things the way the average individual does. I MUST take things in small doses. Whether that is house work, noise, light, foods. My nervous system is so overloaded all the time that I can easily wind up in pain and agony (for me physically) if I do something in too much excess.

    At first I remember fighting against changing the way I did things in my day because I wanted to be "Normal". I can see this happening with my sig other as well. He has fought hard against being the man he is now (the man with mental illness). However, as the years pass by he is more and more likely to try to prevent his anxieties, fears and brain chemistry issues by using mindfullness and other techniques to focus. ....works better than waiting till you are in a bad way and trying to fix it.

    Cheers to doing things a NEW way to pave the way for wellness. Cheers!

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