The Upside of Depression

The upside of my depression, is that I begin to just not care so much. So things that may have at one time bothered or upset me just kinda hit me and roll. It makes me a little less likely to get worked up about...well, whatever. It is that kind of a awwww hell what does it matter anyway. Maybe that's the drugs, or a combination. Eitherway, in a strange way there is a certain amount of relief in surrendering to whatever life hands me instead of fighting for something more. I wounder if I fight too hard, fight too much? Should I just give in an let life happen? Would it make life easier? Happier? Would I smile more or just feel more defeated? (Sigh) I wish I had more answers.